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The naughty witch
2
01 APRIL 1999
Ezralda the naughty Witch
woke up one morning. ‘I will do something
naughty and witchie today’ she said rubbing
her eyes. ‘But first I shall have a
bath.’ She pulled out from under her bed a tin
bath and filled it with magical hot water then she
disrobed.
‘Look at my
boobies’ she said grabbing them and twisting
them about. ‘They are ripe and full of
goodness. Most men would like to suckle them. But I
wont let them. They are mine to eat. Now let me get
into this bath.’
She got in and splashed
about for a few moments. ‘The water is too
hard. I will soften it by having a piss.’ She
stood up and had a piss. ‘Ah thats
better’ she said splashing about
again.
Afterwards she made
herself breakfast. She got some childrens toes out
of the fridge. She coated them in mustard and put
them under the grill with some bread. ‘These
childrens toes will be tasty with a glass of
toematoe juice and vodka’ she
farted.
After she ate she put on
her black pointed hat and got on her broom stick
and flew down the street. She put spells and curses
on passers by. Men were turned into byson. Women
into grass hand bags and children were sent to the
north pole.
‘Now its time to have
some real fun’ she said. I shall look through
peoples bathrooms and toilets and see them squat
and strain as they do their chores. Then I shall
suprise them.’
She chose a house with a
big bathroom. She elevated herself to the bathroom
window and peeped in. It was not long when a bald
headed man came rushing in unzipping his trousers
and sitting on the toilet. ‘Quick’ he was
heard to say. ‘I’m about to shit myself.
‘Ah good my bum is on the seat now I can
discharge my turds with gusto.’ The man
strained. Afterwoods he stood up to wipe his
bottom. Thats when Ezralda opened the window and
went ‘Oogerly oogerly oooohhh’ at him.
The bald headed man turned round with a shock.
‘Christ. A witch has been watching me have a
shit. I feel so embariced I’m going to have a
heart attack.’ He fell to the bathroom floor
clutching his chest.
‘Ha ha ha. He is
dead’ laughed Ezralda. ‘Now to go to the
local gay bar and do some damage there’ she
said whizzing off on her broom stick.
She arrived at the Butt of
Plenty. A notorious dark spot where men come to
dance with other men and to have swetty and oily
sex. The dance floor was full of leather bodies all
swaying to the pulsating rythoms of Techno. Men
kissed with their tongues and squeezed each others
genitals.
Ezralda made her way to
the dark room. In there men were having sex up the
bum. She cast a spell and turned their penises into
frankfurters and their bums into little plums.
‘Oi whats going on?’ said one man.
‘Look. Its that Witch’ said another.
‘She’s turned our equipment into food
stuffs. Lets get her.’
‘You’ll never catch me you brown
chimps’ said Ezralda zooming off on her broom
stick and home to eat more childrens toes on
toast.
SEXTON MING
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