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The naughty
witch
18 MARCH 1999
There are not many witches
in the city. For most witches prefer the
countryside. Where they can roll about in mud and
frolic with pigs. But there is one in London. She
loves to get high on the car exhausts and eats left
over fish and chips. Her name is Ezralda and she is
a typical witch. Typical because she wears a black
pointed hat and rides a broomstick.
Ezralda is notoriously
naughty. She likes to cause chaos and havoc
wherever she goes. She gets great enjoyment from
turning peoples lives upside down. The stronger the
better. Once she did a terrible thing that she
thought was good in nature. She found an old
abandoned warehouse. She spent three days digging a
huge twenty foot deep pit and filling it with
wooden spikes. Then she put a sign outside saying
"BIG BEAN FEAST TODAY: EVERY BEAN IS
FREE"
"I shall now hide behind
this lamppost and see what happens" she said. "To
pass the time I'll have a piss." This she did. She
did not have to wait long for her plan to happen.
Two well dressed gentlemen walked past the old
warehouse.
"Look at this Sir" said
one to the other. "A free bean feast". "I love
baked beans me. I can do incredible farts with
them."
"Hohoho I'd like to hear
them your Lordship."
"Then let us enter this
house of beany delights and let us
feast."
The two men entered the
warehouse. There was a few seconds of silence. Then
two terrible screams followed by the sickening
sound of bodies being impailed on wooden spikes as
they fell to their deaths.
"Hahaha. My plan has
worked" said Ezralda as she came out from behind
the lamppost. She looked at the still bodies in the
pit bellow. "Ha that will teach you to kill
elephants."
Soon the police arrived.
"Oh it's you again Ezralda" said PC Grip. "What
have you been up to this time?"
"Come see," she said and
she showed him the two bodies in the pit of the
warehouse.
"Ooooh grisily" he said.
"You have killed the Mayor of London and his
security".
"I thought they were ivory
hunters."
"Well whatever. You're
under arrest for murder."
"No I'm not" she said
climbing on her broomstick and flying
off.
"I'll get you yet Ezralda.
You can't escape the long arm of the law." But she
could, for the naughty witch could live underground
or live high in the roof tops.
SEXTON MING
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