Sexton's trip to America part 3
While in New York me and my girlfriend managed to get tickets to the Jerry Singer show. The Jerry Singer show is a contriversal TV show. He has familys who have long standing fueds and disagreaments. And sometimes they have fights.
We came to the TV studio and they gave us boxex of chocolait and chiken to eat and half a bottle of vodka to drink.
'When you have finished your bottle of vodka dont forget to throw it at the guests' said the usher.
We sat down in our seats. The lights went low. The music played. On came Jerry Singer himself. The audience went wild. "JERRY, JERRY, JERRY" they chanted.
'Hi there' he said waving his left hand and holding a microphone in the other.
'Settle down and shut up. I've got a great show for you tonight. There will be lots of violence. Chairs will be thrown, faces kicked in and guts. You love it dont you?'
"YEAH" went the crowed.
'But you must love me.'
"We love you Jerry" replied the crowed.
'OK on tonights show we have a woman who has been married for fifty years and is now having an afair with a horse. Lets bring on Mrs Maples.'
On came Mrs Maples, an elderly woman in her sixties which means she must of got married when she was ten or so. She sat down in a chair on the stage. The crowed booed.
'Tell me Mrs Maples' said Jerry. 'Why, after sixty years of marrige did you discide to have an afair with a horse?'
'Well Jerry' she began. 'Its like this, the horse has got a bigger dick than my husband.'
'Well lets see what your husband has to say. Lets meet Mr Maples'
On came Mr Maples. He was shouting 'YOUR A WHORE" to her. Then he beat up one of the camera men.
'Please sit down Mr Maples' said Jerry.
'I am American. I have the right to stand up if I want to' said Mr Maples. He turned to his wife wagging his finger at her. 'How can you exspect this horse to provide for you like I have?'
'He provides for me' she said. 'He gives me hay and carrots.'
'Well lets meat this horse' said jerry. 'Bring on Muscle Horse.
A huge horse with swetty muscles strutted on stage. The crowed booed and cheered.
'Your a bastard' shouted Mr Maples.
'You shut your face' said Muscle Horse sitting down.
'Why are you having an affair with Mrs Maples?' asked Jerry.
'Well jerry' began Muscle Horse. 'Its like this, she gives me hay and carrots...'
'My carrots' snarled Mr Maples.
'And in return I give her dick, which you cant give her Mr Maples' concluded Muscle Horse.
'Oh yes I can ' said Mr Maples pulling his trousers down. 'Look'
The audience gasped as he revealed his willie.
'Put that away' said Jerry.
'Ha you call that manhood' said Muscle Horse. 'Get this in the face for a start'. And swung his hip and hit Mr Maples in the face with his enormous willie breaking his jaw.
Suddenly Randos the Bull apeard on stage. 'Mrs Maples was my girl befor you Muscle Horse' he said. 'And I want her back.'
'Fuck you' replied Muscle Horse. 'She's mine and I'm keeping her Randos.'
'Then I challinge you to a duel.'
'What kind of duel?'
'Lets see who can do the most turds.'
'OK'.
The horse and bull began to shit filling up the TV studio. Jerry Singer and Mrs Maples were drowned in it. The audience panic and the was a scramble for the exits. People were screaming as Randos and Muscle Horse kepts on pumping away. Me and my girlfriend vawed never to go on a TV show again.
SEXTON MING
SEXTON MING