SEX TOBACONIST
It was a rainy day on Monday. Larry walked outside his house and down to the high street. He was in search of putting something up his nose. Not carrots. Not cocaine but a tobacco based powder called snuff. Next to the shop that sold dog and cat food was a tobaconist. Its window showed lots of pipes and cigerettes from Russia. In Larry walked. The shop was quiet and empty. Larry rang the bell on the counter. From behind a purple velvet curtain a beautiful woman appeard.
'What do you want?' she gruffed.
'I'd like a tin of medicated snuff' said Larry.
'You'll have to fight me for it first' said the woman.
'I'd rather not. Could'nt I just pay for it.'
'No. You must wrestle me' she said ripping off her skirt to reveal a pair of shaply legs in black stockings.
'Goodness gracious me' gasped Larry. 'You are almost naked. Put your clothes back on at once.'
'No I won't. This is my tobacco shop and I do what I like. If you want your tin of snuff you must over power me.'
'OK' said Larry. 'If thats the way you want it, so be it' he said pulling down his pants to reveal his medium sized penis. Quickly the woman grabbed it and swung him around the shop three times before letting go of her grip. Larry fell backwards crashing into a glass cabinet displaying crome plated lighters and cigerette holders. CRASH!
'No one comes in here and puchases anything with out a mud wrestling match first' squeeled the woman as she poured a bucket of mud over Larry.
Larry got to his feet. 'OK baby' he said. 'You asked for it.' Larry lifted her up by her boobs. She tripped him up. Larry fell on his back. The woman sat on his face and pumped farts up his nose. For awhile Larry was unconcious.
Larry drempt he was a dog delivering pizza. 'I'm a greyhound and I can run like the wind. With this box of pizza between my teeth I will deliver it to number nine'.
When Larry woke up he found himself on the pavement with some love eggs up his arse and a tin of snuff in his pocket. Larry wonderd if it all had been a dream.
SEXTON MING