Tales from The Ming

As published in junge Welt


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The Naughty Witch (18/03/99)

Sex Tobacconist (04/03/99)

The Meat factory (18/02/99)

Aliens (02/02/99)

Sex Clinic (18/01/99)

New Year (31/12/98)

The Pub (09/12/98)

Arnie the Tarmacker (19/11/98)

The Power of Parks (07/10/98)

Frustration Street (07/10/98)

 

 

THE PUB

On the Holloway road in London there is a giant pub that use to be an old cinima. It is large and spacious with hundreds of different beers on tap and many bottled beers too.The staff are clean cut in their blue shirts. They never spill any alchohal and they always give you the right change. Inside the old cinima is decorated with photograths of famous movie stars. Such as Juli Garland, Ginger Rodgers showing all her leg, Clark Gayble and many others.

Down by the back doors on oppersit walls the pup pay homage to two local heros of Islington, two gay Icons. On one wall there is several pictures of Joe Meek. The man who created the early sixties hit "Telestar" in his home made recording studio. He killed himself but first he killed his landlady, great stuff.

Then on the other wall pictures of the now famous playwrite Joe Orten. He of such plays as "Loot". "Entertaining Mr Sloan" and "What the Butler saw". He was murderd by his lover Kennith Hallywell.

Great stuff.

I go to the pub, by a pint of Directors and sit down. I like to drink four pints durring the day and another four at night befor I do any writing. The liquid makes me feel like a king. So warm and comforting is the misty haze.

There are many Irish folk in the pub and I meet one in the toilets. He staggers over the urinal and pisses down his pants and goes into a rage. He turns to me. 'Fucking gipsy bastards. Gone and pissed all over me, ya bastard' 'You've had to much to drink' I say. 'Yes you could be right' he says. 'But those gipsys have pissed down my leg again' 'Then perhaps you should go and kill yourself' I suggest. 'Then they wont do it any more'. This he does. He throws himself through a plate glass door. As he lies bleeding dead a caravan of gipsy's pass and shit on him. Such a tragic end to an old man.

I settle down to drink my pint in solitude.But my peace is shatterd by the sound of what seems to be crackling gun fire. It is laughing Man another local. Laughing Man is always laughing loudly. He is always happy, too happy and finds the funny side of every thing. Nothing brings him down. 'Ho ho ho I've got terminal cancer. Hee hee hee my wife has gone and left me. Ho ho ho my house is being reposesed'. Yes nothing upsets him and his anoying laughter echos around the old cinima and pieces the ear drums.

Then after my third pint another charictor apears. Its wantent woman. She sits next to me and looks into my eyes. She is well pissed. She grabs my hand and bites my finger nails off. Then she speaks. 'My boyfriend has chucked me out of his flat. Can I stay round yours. We could go to bed.' ' But you are a sexless woman' I say. 'I know' she says. ' Thats what happens when you have iligitimate children. But I still have tits'. I make my excuses about being gay like Joe Orten and Joe Meek and leave. I will return to drink another day but not today.

SEXTON MING

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