Tales from The Ming

As published in junge Welt


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The Naughty Witch (18/03/99)

Sex Tobacconist (04/03/99)

The Meat factory (18/02/99)

Aliens (02/02/99)

Sex Clinic (18/01/99)

New Year (31/12/98)

The Pub (09/12/98)

Arnie the Tarmacker (19/11/98)

The Power of Parks (07/10/98)

Frustration Street (07/10/98)

 

 

THE MEAT FACTORY

18 February 1999

On a grey, wet morning the hords of Transit vans come creeping along to the meat factory. Full of dead brained workers ready to eek out a living cutting up meat. Their harts are heavy with glue as they enter the prison like building.

'Why do I have to work in a god forsaken Place for little or no money' one young sixteen year old bravly shouts.

'Silence you' says the management. 'You are scum. You are hear to make pre packed food for scum. Just for speaking your mind we will send you to the gravy making room where you will swet amongst huge vats of gravy and dried onions. The smell will make you swerl and gag. Now go.'

Toby the sixteen year old reluctantly goes to the gravy room.

'My god. It stinks in here. And the heat is incredible. I'll cool things down by pissing in one of these huge vats.'

He does this and clouds of yellow steam come billowing out.

Mean while in another part of the factory a man carrrys to carcuses on his back. 'Out of the way' he shouts. 'I must grind up these sides of prime beef for the sosige making machine.' Into the grinder the sides of beef go. Some one trips the man up and he too falls into the grinding machine.

'AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!' he goes.

Some one reports this acident to the management. 'Good' they say. We will call those brand of sosiges "Beef and human pork with onions". And we'll send a packet of meat balls to his widow.

The convayer belts crank and moan under the waight of sosiges. Women on either side gather them up and put them into plastic packiges. One woman holds up an extra long sosige. 'This looks like my husbands dick' she laughs. 'I will suck it.' She does and puts it back on the convayer belt.

'I'm a feminist' says another. 'And I am strongly offended by these phallic meats. They suggest rape.'

'Then go to the faggot making room.'

Meanwhile in the managements office they are counting their money.

'One million for us. Ten pounds for each scum faced worker. Meat is a rich mans bussiness' they laugh. But their laughter is shatterd by the sound of the office door being splinterd to pieces by an incredible force. There before them stands Randos the Bull patron saint of all cows and pigs.

'Randos the Bull' the management gasp. 'What brings you here?'

'I have come to avenge my brothers and sisters. Those you have cut up and minced to make crappy meat products in the name of money and greed.' he growls.

'Please dont punish us Randos' plead the management.

'I must.'

He sits on their heads crushing them then farts. After he kills them all Randos spreads the money to all the poor workers.

"Hurray for Randos" they cry. And another working day ends at the meat factory.

SEXTON MING

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