Tales from The Ming

As published in junge Welt


The World of Ming

Index of stories

German version coming soon

FIXATION DOG

30 August 2001

Mad Sod the Scientist was walking in his local park one day. He was sad and moody. His gaze downward, deep in thought. 'I am a scientist' he thought. 'I must come up with something scientific soon or I'll never win the Nobell Peace Prize.'

Mad Sod sat on a bench by the pond and watched the ducks swim but with no intrest. For he was deep in his thoughts.

But then suddenly a dog walked by.

'Hallo' said the dog. 'Are you lonely?'

'No' said Mad Sod.

'Why do you look glum then?' said the dog.

'I am forty three and I'm a scientist. And I haven't won the Nobel Peace Prize yet. If only I could come up with an invention or a cure that was fantastic then I would win it.'

'Your dreams are answord' said the dog. 'For I am Fixation Dog. I just love having fixations. How would you like to be the one to cure my fixations. Just think. It will make you a famouse scientist.'

'Your right' said Mad Sod. 'It will. I'll take your case on. I will cure you of your fixations. Then the world will know me as a great pet scientist.'

'Great' said the dog. 'This is what we'll do. I'll go around my bussness as usual . Then you can cure my fixation at the end of the day.'

'That is a fabulous idear. Lets work together' said Mad Sod the Scientist shaking Fixation Dogs paw. So durring the day Mad Sod would work in his study while Fixation Dog would go out and find something to fixate on for the scientist to cure him of. One day Mad Sod found Fixation dogs kennel full of cigerret butts and ash trays.

'You seem to have a fixation with nicotien' commented Mad Sod to the dog.

'Yes. ' he said. 'I started with one cigerett a day. And before I knew it I was on forty a day. Please help me.'

Mad Sod quickly cured Fixation Dog of his smoking habbit by proscribing fatty foods.

The next day Mad Sod walked into his living room to find Fixation dog all dressed in black. He was listerning to a record with head phones on his head. When Mad Sod enterd the room Fixation dog turned off the record player and took his headphones off.

'Hallo Fixation Dog' said Mad Sod. 'What were you listerning too, and why are you all dressed in black?' 'I was just listerning to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' said the dog. "Also "Bela Lugosie"s dead" by Bauhaus.' 'Hmmm. You seem to have a fixation on death' said Mad Sod the Scientist.

'Yeah. I'm going to paint my kennel black. Wear chicken bones around my neck. Lie on tomb stones at night and collect glow in the dark plastic skulls.' Mad Sod cured Fixation dog straight away by putting on a drum and bass record and giving him an "E".

Months went by. And Mad Sod cured Fixation Dog of many fixations. He cured him of a fixation of computer games. Of shop lifting. Of gambling. (Many thousands did Fixation Dog loose at the casino's at night).

While curing Fixation Dog Mad Sod found time to relax in the park. And one day he met a sweet girl called "Chrissy". After an hour they fell in love. Mad Sod never in his life befor had some one fancy him so much. So much so that he propose to her there and then.

One day after curing Fixation Dog of his fixation he had that day Mad Sod went to get ready to go out. He and Chrissy were going to a posh resturont that evening. He wanted to look his best. So he had a bath. He washed the black greasy stuff from between his toes. Put moisturiser on his spotty arse and washed his dick thouroghly befor trimming his eyebrows. Then He dressed in a white tuxido with a red bow tie. And put on his Beatle boots.

There was a ring at the door.

'Ah ha. That will be Chrissy' said Mad Sod excitedly. In walked Chrissy smiling wearing a long red velvet dress. She wore glittering earings and her hair was piled up high.

'Chrissy. You look ravershing' said Mad Sod.

'Do you like it? I wore it specialy for you' she said.

Mad Sod couldn't say anything. He was too excited. But he thought to himself "I'll wash my dick another time, just incase.'

'Just one miniute my dear' he said. 'I wont be long. In the mean time meet my dog.'

In trotted Fixation Dog and Mad Sod went to the bath room again.

Chrissy bent down to great him. 'Hello doggy. Arnt you cute.'

'I am Fixation Dog' he said. 'Say, are those tights you are wearing by Christien D' Or?'

'Why yes, they are' said Chrissy pulling up her skirt. In a flash Fixation Dog pounced. He wrapped his paws around her legs and started to fuck her knee caps. Mad Sod came running out of the bath. A feeling of horror filled him as he saw the dog gyrating his hips.

'Hay' exclaimed Mod Sod. 'You seem to have a fixation on my girl friend.'

'Yes and this is one fixation you wont cure, ho, ho.' 'Oh Fixation Dog your so wounderful' sighed Chrissy.

THE END

SEXTON MING

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