Tales from The Ming

As published in junge Welt


The World of Ming

Index of stories

in German

The Chocolaite Bar

28 APRIL 1999

If your a man like me who likes to dress up in womens clothes then London can be a good place to find clubs or bars that cater for this sort of thing.

One good bar is the Chocolait Bar. A place full of men in frocks. Men in suits after men in frocks and of corse lots of gays.

Why is it called the Chocolaite Bar? Well to get in you have to pay ten pounds and eat two slices of chocolait cake. Then with every drink you order you have to eat another slice of cake untill you throw up.

'I'd like a dry martini' says a trannie called Cloe.
'Eat this slice of chocolait cake first' says the bar man.
'Munch, munch' goes Cloe. 'Thanks, now can I have my martini?'
'Here you are.' Cloe drinks it down quickly to get rid of the taste of chocoliat cake.
'Want another drink?' asks the bar man.
'Yes please. I'll have a bottle of beer.'
'Eat these two slices of cake first.'
'But I've already eaten a slice of cake. Any way I dont like chocolait cake that much.'
'I'm sorry it house rules. You must eat with every drink.' And so it goes on.

There is entertainment at the Chocolaite bar. Big entertainment. And the man who presents it is called Mr Panache. He's always dressed in a gold suit and thrilly shirt.

'Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen' he shouts into the microphone 'Is there any bum boys here tonight?'
'Lots' shout back the audience.
'Good. I hope you use strong comdoms and plenty of lubricant.' he says unzipping his trouser and showing a green cubcumber. 'We have some great acts for you tonight. The great Mr Rustic who will swollow Edwardian paintings of the twenty first century. Mrs Grip who will grip you with her muscles. But first Lilly Soden the drunken drag queen.'

The music strikes up 'Hay big spender'. On staggers a wretched sight. A man dress in a purple seaquind dress. Lipstick smeard all over his face and wearing a crooked blond beehive wig. She's carrying a half full bottle of vodka.

The audience boos and jeers. 'Get off you old drunken fucker' they shout.

'Shut your faces you cunts' Lilly slurs then trips over the hem of her skirt and falls flat on her face and vomits. She is dragged of stage. Mr Panaches bounds onto the stage. 'Hay was'nt that great? Lilly Soden. Twenty years in the drag business and she still can drink ten bottles of vodka. And now Randos the bull will do a strip tease,'

At that moment a big heavy bull cames crashing through the bar window and started to take his Kalvin Klien under pants off. Every one cheerd and rushed to the toilets to grease it up. So ended a night at the Chocolait Bar

SEXTON MING

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