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ARNIE THE
TARMACKER
In the city there is a
man who maintains the roads and highways. Arnie is
his name. He is forty five with grey hair, muscles
that sweat constantly. He is strong and tough and
smells of liquid tar. He lives on a diet of boiled
eggs which he cracks between his
buttocks.
Arnie has a friend. A
prostigious Cambrige Don. He is well versed in
matters of philosophy, politics and home economics.
A brainy man with meticulous manners. But some
times he likes a bit of rough. Thats where Arnie
comes in. On lonely nights the Cambrige Don
requires swet and grit. And Arnie is always willing
to obliges.
First he greases him up
and oils him down. The Cambrige Don bends over and
spreads them. Arnie shoves some dried tomatoes up
the followed by peanuts, grapes and thin slices of
honey roasted ham. Then Arnie puts the Cambrige Don
into a cement mixer to give him a good shake up.
Then Arnie sucks it all out and has it all on
toast.This is the only way the Cambrige Don can get
his kicks.
But there are other games
they play. Arnie straps him to a work bench and
bolts together a length of pipe. This too is
greased and inserted. After this little play time
they sit down to toasted muffins and white wine.
Then Arnie goes back to tarmacking the road. The
two live in hormony. But sometimes they go their
seperite ways to find other pleasures.
Arnie setttles himself on
the highway. Laying down tar in the sunshine of a
summers morning during the rush hour. He spies upon
the young women on their way to the office. He
likes their short skirts and tight blouses. Mentaly
he undresses them and with sexist gusto imagines he
is eating hamburgers off their breasts. He
whistles at these women trying to gain their
atention. 'Oi baby sit on my face' he crys. Then he
shows them his crevis above his jeans. Arnie has a
great time unerving these females as they go on
their way to work. But if ignored he can become
violent. He bares his chest with tatoos of roses
and skulls. He roars 'Oi girlie look at my
muscles.' Rips his shirt to reveal his hairy chest
and farts with the wind.
The Cambrige Don finds his
pleasure in certain games. Games managed by woman
of ill repute. For fifty pounds he is given baby
oil and talcome powder then strapped into a nappy.
He is forced to gurgle and wet the bed. He goes
home satisfied then waits for Arnie. They live in
harmony.
Sexton Ming
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