NOTE: My dogma is divine law.

1. Man cannot live on a diet of Leadbelly alone.
   
   
2. Black Sabbath is manhood. Not Link Wray's 'Rumble'.
   
   
3. The Blues is boring. Especially if sung by white, middle class kids.
   
   
4. Punk Is dogma. Prog is freedom.
   
   
5. Retro is killing experimentation in modern music. Boycott Damage Goods, Dirty Water Records or any dodgy German label.
   
   
6. Iggy and the Stooges were not punks. Just an amateurish heavy prog band. The same goes for the MC5.
   
   
7. The New York Dolls were not punk. Just a glam rock band that missed the boat by a few years.
   
   
8. If you were a foetus in 1966 you were not a Mod.
   
   
9. God likes Joni Mitchell. Not The Milkshakes.
   
   
10. Save money. Boycott Billy Childish gigs. Stay at home and listen to The Who "Live at Leeds'.

1. With every brush stroke hate.
   
   
2. The true Stuckist style is Stella Vine.
   
   
3. Develop an insatiable hatred for those who become famous. Especially if they are you old mates or ex partners.
   
   
4. We speak the words of truth and honesty. But we reserve the right to move the goal posts when it suits us.
   
   
5. Stuckism is not an alternative to Conceptualism. Just a bottomless pit of Charles Thomson turds.
   
   
6. The Stuckists can protest until they are blue in the face. But they will never be in the Turner Prize as Charles Thomson has foolishly pissed off Nicholas Serota for them.
   
   
7. We use Star charts to break into the knickers of 1^st yr students. (It's the oldest trick in the book.)
   
   
8. Tracy Emin owes Charles Thomson a living.

1. All men are bastards.
   
   
2. All the girls love a bastard.
   
   
3. If you are a nice guy, you don't get none.
   
   
4. Feminist poets are attracted time and time again to bastards. That's why they are Feminist poets.
   
   
5. Feminism is dead. Long live Bastardism.
   
   
6. Ladettes are sexist bastards in frocks.
   
   
7. Chav women scare the fuck out of me.

Note: If you quote my words correctly I guarantee you'll be hated in the mainstream underground.

1.God has a bloody good sense of humour. He can take a joke. It's hard to blaspheme against him and his crew.

2. Punks are sad. Hippies are cool.

3. The Stooges reunion was so shit that Ron Ashton paid for it with his life.

4. Old Hippies are harder than old Punks. Especially if they know some old Hells Angels who are a bit tasty with the old machete.

5. There is only one decent poet to come out of Medway. ME.

6. Dostoyevski attracts intellectual homos. Stephen King is a Billionaire.

7. Make Jade Goodie the patron Saint of Chavs.

8. Jack White is a millionaire. Billy Childish is not.

9. If you really want to be cutting edge, taboo, get a "bums to the wall lads" reaction from your friends. Get thee to Church on Sunday.

10. Pete Docherty is a lightweight.

11. Only Mick Farren speaks the truth.

12. Pin Hole photography is ok if you haven't got a digital camera.  It makes a nice chocolate box effect.

'It is important that we know and understand Sexton's opinions. Unlike those jokers he used to hang out with.' Richard Burns. Co founder of the Cambridge Poetry Festival.

'I wish I was in his body,' Sir John Betjemin on his death bed.

'Sexton Ming is a really nice guy. That's why I don't find him attractive,' Fiona Pitt-Kethley

'After reading these half witted manifestos I've gone off of Sexton Ming. Like Childish his head has gone up his arse. C'est la vie.' Martin Amis

'I understand that it has always been the tradition for the people of Medway take the piss out of each other, (possibly cause they are all descended from Pikies).

But Sexton is going too far.' Germain Greer